working through fear with a vestibular condtition
The fear that tagged along with my vestibular something was like a living being that I had to converse with throughout my healing journey. It existed outside of me and somehow within me at the same time. My vestibular something entered and lit the ignition of fear as if it had always been a part of me.
When I was in the worst of the storm with my vestibular something, there was a lot of emotion and trauma that I just couldn't process in the moment. It's only through reflection that I see so clearly how I was trudging through the motions. Sometimes when you're trudging, it's hard to really feel how an experience is shaping you. That was undoubtedly the case for me. I say all this to encourage you to process the emotional component of your vestibular something. This includes the fear aspect.
vestibular conditions & fear
I think vestibular somethings and fear are probably best friends. I imagine that all vestibular conditions carry fear with them. I mean, they completely upset our lives (to varying degrees), take us out of our grounded state, and make us feel entirely disrupted.
The fearful questions danced in the back corners of my mind constantly, but I didn’t dare entertain them long…
What if this vestibular stuff never goes away?
What if I feel like this forever?
What if I get lost in the derealization darkness?
What if I lose my hope?
I do not play the ugly “what if” game with my vestibular something anymore. I will lose that game because the questions always sting regardless of the answers. I learned along my journey that it would have been way easier to fall in the darkness of the vestibular stuff, but that’s not where my light was guiding me. It was harder to get up every day and climb out of the darkness and keep moving forward, but my fear lived in that dark hole and I didn’t dare visit long. I started to play a new “what if” game.
What if I do overcome my vestibular something?
What if I help others do the same?
What if it is one of the best things that happens to me?
What if it was just a piece in the puzzle to all I'm meant to do in this life?
Guess what happened… my fears began to shapeshift. My biggest fear wouldn’t be about my vestibular something and it what it could do, but rather about me and what if I didn’t take a stand against it. I feared not fueling my health and putting up a fight and demanding more for my wellness and my future. I feared how mad I’d be at myself for not giving it my all to get my life back.
What if I looked at the food I eat as medicine?
What if I worked at creating a state of gratitude each day?
What if I decided my vestibular something was an opportunity to create health?
What if I can heal and thrive?
What if I can provide hope to others?
The “what if” questions took on a new energy. One that lit me up inside rather than fueling my vestibular something. I no longer entertain any idea that my vestibular something takes away from my life. That doesn’t mean I don’t have negative thoughts. These days, I just recognize that it’s just my mind thinking something and that does not have to define me.
What if your vestibular something is one of the best things that happens to you? What if it makes you reevaluate everything, put your health first and create a glowing mountain of bliss in your life?
I mean really, what if…?
[excerpt from Creating Bliss In Your Life With A Vestibular Condition and Beyond]